We know how it feels once you have the flu, sneezing becomes a reflex, it could also come with puffy eyes and uncontrollable catarrh. My kind of “Flu” is a little different, If you’re an ardent visitor here, then you’ll know that I always come up with crazy definitions, you’ll never find them in your dictionary. When the flu strikes you, the pipe between your thighs actually plays the piper (hahaha! Hope you understand). In case you are still lost at this point, the flu is actually an aggressive crave for sex. It’s not a physiological ailment but has its symptoms and diagnosis; the next few lines would be quite expository as I try to open up the can of worms most of us feed from. The flu doesn’t respect religion or principles. Have you ever wondered why a professor would be caught pants down with a student young enough to be his daughter? Or why you can’t survive a few weeks without sex and eventually resort to masturbation?……yes you!. Few days back, a friend opened up to me, according to him, sex is as important as his daily meals; he does everything possible to have it on a daily basis, preferably with different ladies. He feigns love and emotions if he must(sheds tears when necessary) , he doesn’t mind being the drama kind, so long as he can pump his “tire”. Now I know most of us think it’s only normal to want to have sex, after all it doesn’t have the ‘liable to die young’ clause that you find in cigarette ads, just the HIV warnings that you have normalized ( after all you have stacked up condoms like you are trying to rebuild the tower of Babel).

When the flu hits you hard, social class and inequality are torn to shreds, your house girl suddenly looks like a runway model to you, and certain people even go as far as paying sex hawkers!. If you’ve been reading then you’ll notice that I’ve laid more emphasis on the guys, probably because I’m a guy myself, but the ladies are not left out, unlike the guys a lady’s urge is not always conspicuous probably because she doesn’t have a ‘pole” and it’s also in her build up to cushion up the effects of “conji” more effectively;that doesn’t completely rule them out of this syndrome. When I look at the revamped sex toy business and how our Onitsha brothers now import container loads of them in their different shapes and sizes, although a bit perplexed I have come to the conclusion that …lol. So what’s your take on this? Do you think it’s a psychological defect? Do you feel it can be managed? If we try to go all analytical, then we’ll discover that most failed relationships were initiated by “the flu”. You profess all the love in the world to your partner, it sounds so mushy and convincing, meanwhile you’re only after the bed sports, the love affair comes and goes as fast as a sneeze!.

If you’re one of those that grease their conscience with reassuring lies like “when I get married I’ll stop” or “when I finally fall in love I’d go easy on the flu” then this article should serve as an eye opener, commitment and love are two unique items but we find it very difficult to subdue the flu, a wedding band doesn’t have the power to control your fast flying thoughts and desires. Self denial is always in its crescendo, especially when it makes you feel a lot better. If you are suffering from the flu then well calculated measures have to be taken to curb its effect in your life. Excessive sexual urge is a great danger to your destiny; it blinds your focus, subdues your personality and tramples on your standards. I hope my write up has an enacting effect,you don’t need to keep “sneezing”…………………………get cured today!


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12 Replies to “THE FLU”

  1. I have succesfully cured my flu……for now #grinning#.. Whenever it resurfaces,.I pray it doesn’t get to d stage I start seeing Musa my gateman as Chris Hemsworth! Lmso!


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