The feeling of emptiness filled me up, and I couldn’t think straight anymore, I just felt so alone, its Christmas, everyone should be happy, everyone should be celebrating, yeah but I don’t feel the Joy they all feel, it felt like everything and everyone were all in slow motion, I began to walk through the crowd as I gazed on people jumping and celebrating with so much joy and happiness.
I didn’t want to go for the Christmas dinner, but then I just had to, I didn’t have a choice, I just had to be there, since it was also my dad’s 60th birthday, and this time I wasn’t on any business trip, I couldn’t get one, it just seemed like everyone but me wanted a break this Christmas, it felt like I was the only one who didn’t actually care about celebrating or enjoying this season.
It was Christmas Eve, I was still in the office till about 11pm, and I just didn’t feel like leaving the office, I paced back and forth, I couldn’t sit I couldn’t stand, as walked over and slipped out a bottle of my favorite wine from the fridge, I turned and looked at my desk, and I discovered it was my 5th bottle, I only smiled and dropped the glass I had with me, and decided to drink from the bottle as I slowly reached for my jacket and slowly walked out looking back at the bottles and smiling like it was some sought of accomplishment.
I managed to get home and I checked the time, it was already 1am, though I wondered why I got home so early, considering the fact that my house is just a fifteen minute drive from the office, but it didn’t really matter, I just walked to my bed I couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in for hours, I finally drifted away after 4:30 am.
I got a call from my younger sister that morning around 11 am, reminding of the Christmas party/my daddy’s birthday, got a lot of notifications, messages and all what not but known matter, I just decided to scan through, and I saw a message from an old girlfriend, Mercy;
Hey Gabe, how you been? Been ages!!
Would be at the Christmas dinner tonight,
Looking forward to seeing you.
Merry Christmas, Love Mercy.
Funny, but that seemed to have lifted up my spirit, it had been years since I heard from her, just been seeing her Tv shows, just didn’t won contact her, I was surprised she actually contacted me and that she was coming for the dinner.
That evening, I decided to show up after an hour of the scheduled time, “Just for the grand entry scene” I got my grand entry though, when I got in, after greeting family friends and colleagues, the only thing on my mind was to find Mercy, I looked for her everywhere but couldn’t find her, just as I was about to give up hope, she stepped out of the kitchen laughing, my God!! She was looking too beautiful, smell of her perfume soon filled my nostrils, I was just staring at her, didn’t know where to start talking, my God I missed that smile, she looked happier than ever, as images of the last time we were together flashed through, could remember the sad face that was filled with tears, we got talking, we were catching up, I told her how much I love her show she was happy, we were having fun, we stood at the pool side as I held her hands, I was so happy she let me, I felt that was the “come in” sign, while we were walking back to the house, a very handsome young man, looking like an athlete walked out and met us, and she introduced us, and told me that was her fiancé and they were gon be getting married in April, I felt broken into a million pieces, I just had to put up a fake smile, congratulated them and excused myself.
God!! I felt like the biggest fool on earth, thinking she’d let me in just like that considering how I treated her and drove her away.
I did a speedy recap on all my X gurl friends, and I discovered I was a very big asshole, I tried clearing up my mind, so I walked back in for the celebration, I couldn’t just think straight, while everybody celebrated and rejoiced, I couldn’t stop staring at her and her man across the room, my God!! I really lost something special. I couldn’t just get the stench of my past stupidity off me.
I stopped enjoying Christmas a long time ago, why? I really can’t remember, but I thought this was gon break the chain, I guess I was wrong.
This may not be the Christmas story you expected, but I just decided to let you know how I spent my Christmas, hurting someone could ruin your Christmas like it did mine.
Written by Godson Theophilus
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