Picture this! Imagine if Boko Haram suddenly attacks Aso rock, how will it go down? Yours dearly has probably been seeing a lot of movies of recent! So I decided to create this scenario, a Nigerian version of Olympus has fallen, I’m using real names, after all there’s no bill that limits freedom of speech, so sit back and enjoy this with me
President Goodluck sat at his desk, you could see he was obviously tensed, he kept scribbling on a note pad, and there was a big Nigerian flag behind him. The phone on his desk kept ringing but he wasn’t in the mood for phone calls so he ignored them. Just then his ADC walked in with a dusty looking file
“What are you holding in your hands” he asked
“Sir, I was told to hand this over to you” his ADC muttered
“Colonel, I have told you several times not to receive official documents on my behalf, haven’t I?” Mr President asked sounding stern
“Sorry sir, but this file was giving to me by V.P Sambo, it looks really important”
“Okay, drop it on my desk, but please don’t make this mistake again”
“Yes sir, it won’t repeat itself” his ADC replied as he saluted and took his leave.
President Goodluck returned to his note pad, he scribbled so fast, then he glanced at the file on his desk for the first time and immediately picked it up and flipped through it, you could see the anger in his eyes
“Dr Nassir, ehn! What’s wrong with this Asuu man? Why is he too stubborn?” he quickly picked up the phone on his desk and dialled a number, he kept tapping his desk with his pen in a weird way, the receiver didn’t pick so he dialled again, the receiver picked this time
“Wike, Wike! How many times did I call your name?”
“Twice sir, what is the problem sir?”
“Call that Asuu mallam to order!, you people want to kill me!” he screamed so loud that his hat fell from his head
“Sir, I am on top of it, I would report back to you in the next 48 hours with good news”
“I don’t care if you’re on top or below, just do something about it” then he hung up.
He stood up walked towards his refrigerator and got a can of beer out; he made funny sounds as he gulped it, like the beer had pepper. Just then a phone started ringing; it was his cell phone so he quickly picked it up.
“Daddy, I want popcorn, shey you will buy for me?”
He immediately recognised the voice and gave a high pitched sigh before replying
“Junior, are you not fat enough? Do you want to burst? By the way didn’t I warn you to stop calling me? Well I blame your mum, she is the one buying phones for you”
“Ooooooo, Daddy, buy for me”
“Okay, I will send Adamu to get some for you” he hung up.
He walked back to his desk and sat down, he put the note pad he had been scribbling on in his pocket, tossed the empty can into a trash can and felt satisfied when he got his target. Then he looked at the portrait of himself and his wife and smiled, he wondered what he would do without his darling wife, he kept smiling for quite a while till he heard a very loud explosion. He looked out of his window and saw fire burning, he ran out of his office and saw people scampering about the hallway, his ADC came rushing with some hefty secret service personnel. They escorted him into the first lady’s conference room, he saw VP Sambo, Pius Anyim and some top government officers pacing around, they all looked frightened; some of them were making phone calls.
“Mr. President, we have a security situation” Lt.Col Babatunde said in his hoarse voice
“Why are you telling me? Do you want me to set up a committee for you or what? What do I pay you for?” he screamed
“Sir, we need to find a way to get you out of here” Col Babangida replied calmly
“Please do! I am not ready to die yet” he was obviously scared
They moved together to the secret exit, all of them running, their pot bellies did not deter their pace in anyway, Pius Anyim ran like he was beefing Usain Bolt. Just as they turned to the exit wing there was another explosion, it had come from the roof top, all of them had dived to different corners trying to protect themselves, just then fully turbaned men jumped down from the roof top carrying AK-47s and started spraying bullets everywhere like they were actually trying to communicate with bullet sounds, it was moments like this that made president Goodluck wish he understood Hausa. One of the turbaned men kept screaming “ina ne mugun President nan ya shiga“(where’s the wicked president), they picked out a Hausa soldier and pointed a gun at him, still screaming the same question. The soldier was not ready to be a hero, he thought of his kids waiting for him at home and his sweet wife, Aminat. He quickly pointed at President Goodluck who was hiding under a table; they dragged him out and made him kneel in front of everybody.
“We have come for you” one of them said, it was obvious he was their leader, his English was perfect
” Pleaeeeease, let us dialogue” he stammered
The stench of urine was strong but it wasn’t clear who had urinated on himself Olympiss had fallen!!
“We are not here to negotiate, we have come for you”
With that statement, he gave the president a taste of his fist, he whirled around instantly, first he thought he saw his late mother smiling at him, then he could almost have sworn that he heard his wife’s voice, finally he blacked out!
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