N/B: Was typing too fast! Forgive me if you come across anything inappropriate
It all seemed perfect for Delsha, life was finally beginning to make sense. At last she had carved beauty off the streets of Brooklyn; she grew up hating so many things. Home was too harsh for her; she started the hustle almost once she was born. A drug dealer for a father and an alcoholic for a mother. Her environment definitely grew her into a strong woman that didn’t believe in the “CRAP”. She never knew love growing up so she never expected she was going to give it out one day. Ladies in the hood that dared believe in love had all ended up with fat babies!!. She felt niggas were too busy chasing papers and bagging jail terms and so she had her ‘RED LIGHT” up, she certainly wasn’t going to fall victim; that was her ideology.
Her body size definitely helped her out, 6 feet tall with serious biceps she didn’t look like she needed love and affection from any nigga or at least that was what she thought till she started taking long walks off Albany avenue, the whistles and screams said it all!, men certainly found her captivating. Although she wasn’t new to the attention but it got more exciting when she had them coming from smart, intellectual and stylish men. Then one day it all happened, he didn’t just drop her a compliment but actually offered to buy her coffee, she was surprised at how easily she let her guard down. Steve was simply stunning, the kind of nigga you see on underwear adverts, with broad shoulders and the “killer smile”. Tripping really hard wasn’t so difficult and after several cups of coffee on different occasions Steve finally made it formal by asking her out, she didn’t stutter or do the whole “i’d think about it” thing, she had never been girly and wasn’t about to start now, she didn’t grow up reading fairy tales and the only teddy she had ever owned was torn to shreds the day daddy needed some wool to swipe his shoe. So she had her first date with Steve and she got to know that he was an intern fresh from college. He was full of ambition and every single word that came from him seemed to ignite her heart, she was tied to Steve already with a chord that she just couldn’t see.
Love grew for them, they didn’t have to do so much, she just had to look into his eyes to see it all, nothing was going to tear them apart. Then it got to that night, she and Steve all wrapped up in sheets, with her heart beating so fast, I mean which nigga would have guessed that such a tough lady was a virgin!, Steve was quite shocked, then went the strokes, each thrust from him seemed to bring tears to her eyes and then finally she was open. The blood stains on the sheet felt really symbolic to her. She knew she was always going to love this young man. Satisfaction was so full in her heart, she even questioned why she had waited so long to have this feeling, it was unexplainable but at the same time felt really good. All her life she had held unto a companion, it wasn’t her sister who had let the hole between her legs define her destiny or her brother that felt drug peddling was all he had to show that he was a man indeed, it was her little diary. So often she poured her heart into it and those words seemed to connect with her, each page bearing a voice of its own. So on that night she reached out for her diary and wrote
25th of September 1998
“I’ve been one heck of a lady, I have believed in my environment for too long, I’ve let my fear of society define the person that I’ve been, the blocks that I’ve held unto for almost two decades all cracked up in just few weeks, feels really strange, I feel so exposed, like if this boomerang’s what’s going to happen? What if there is something bitter at the bottom of the ice cream cone“.
She fed her diary with similar notes, every line entwined at how she felt being with Steve. Then few weeks later while taking a walk in the park she threw up, she didn’t think it was anything serious because the weather had been pretty awful that morning. She got worried when she threw up once again at grannies,that really got her scared. Delsha got herself checked up at the hospital the next day, she got the shock of her life; she was five weeks pregnant! The news made her feel heavy all of a sudden, like she was carrying a sac, could it be good news? She was quite scared, she knew where she wanted to be, where she needed to be. She took a bus to Steve’s crib, nerves quaking and heart beating quite hard and once she was with Steve, amidst tears she broke the news to him. He just stood fixed his face looked quite pale like he had just seen a ghost.
“You sure you’re pregnant” he asked
“Yea, steevy” by now she was sobbing profusely
“whoosh, nothing is gonna come between us babe, we should get it out”
“You mean an abortion”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she wished she was dreaming but this was real, her Steve wanted her to get rid of “their” baby.
Steve completely changed, it was like the news tore out his soul, he kept saying things like “I don’t want nothing and nobody to come between us”. When at last it became clear that she wanted to keep the baby Steve absconded, he simply left town and she never saw him again. That’s how the story went, a lot of tears and regret over the next few months that followed and then there was Tommy, chubby with Steve’s cute eyes, she remembered the last push that brought him to this world and how amazing it felt when she finally got to hold him. It’s been fifteen years since then, Steve was a lesson and also a blessing, she has Tommy now and he has been her child, friend and lover.
-FEW MINUITES OF PLEASURE,YOU LET HIM GO RAW…CAN YOU HANDLE A BABY?
-ABORTION AN ESCAPE ROUTE….CAN YOU HANDLE THE GUILT?
-YOU CAN HANDLE THE GUILT,CAN YOU CLEANSE YOUR SIN?
I’ve had this piece on my lappy for a while now,thought I should share it.
Stab me with a knife
Before u leave my life
Pierce me with a spear
If what we have you won’t spare
Shoot me with a gun
Without you I’m gone
Blow me up with grenades
If you I no longer serenade
Hit me with an axe
Don’t let me ask
For you I am willing to fight
I’d die if you leave my sight
I’m nothing but a savage
If what’s left we don’t salvage
With you I wanna soar
How did we go this sour
I’ve always wanted to be your hero
If u go u reduce me to ground zero
Can we go back in time
To when you were mine
Your my magic without a wand
On your finger I wanna place that band
© Ceeflod.wordpress.com . Unauthorized use and/or duplication of any material on this blog and website without express and written permission from this blog’s author and owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to ceeflod.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. e-mail: Dumebiphil@gmail.com