Never had the intention of writing this piece, but I think it is of paramount importance that a “sensitive” issue like this be discussed. The motivation behind this piece is the so-called “relationships” that surround us in our society, our higher institutions in general.
It has left the era of normality and has escalated into something outrageous and alarming. I know the concept of a relationship is quite inviting and gives whoever is in it a level of contentment but in this new generation it has been abused in all sense.
I thought I had no business peering into issues like this till I met Ade(not his real name of course!) his story was brief but enough to motivate me to pick up my pen. In this piece of writing, is a tale of a young man, the same plight echoed by a million of Nigerian guys probably too lost in the dark to seek the light.
Ade is your everyday guy, the kind of guy you stand on a queue with at the ATM, or pass by on your way to the library, level-headed and the kind of guy that works all week but never forgets to have fun when he can. He came to school with so many resolutions and one of them was to stay away from the ladies (at least not have anything serious with them)and it worked well for him for quite a while till he met Hilda(not her real name). Hilda was “different”, she was cute, smart and didn’t pay much attention to make-up and clothes. He thought she was too good to be true because he connected so well with her and never for a moment doubted the feelings he had for her. He just knew they were meant for each other.
Ade told me when he met Hilda it was like the movie “The adjustment bureau”, he just knew he wasn’t going to let go, everything was beautiful, their relationship was a perfect portrait of what a blissful relationship should be, but maybe that was where he erred, he was in too deep to see the truth that he didn’t notice anything suspicious with the excess money she always had on her.
Ade is a “normal” guy financially, with enough money for himself, so when he started dating Hilda, he knew was going to have to put more in. Now this is where the story gets interesting, Hilda never asked for anything from him and even when he offered her money, she always turned him down. He just assumed that Hilda was being considerate and whenever his friends came to him lamenting how their ladies were milking them out he always thought he was so fortunate to have a girl like Hilda in his life; in his subconscious he was already picturing what their wedding day would be like, he was certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Hilda.
Now, Hilda had this habit of going “home”(that’s probably the best word to use) to spend the weekend with her family and Ade never questioned her whenever she picked up her bag on Friday afternoons and she always returned on Sundays reimbursed (she told him her parents put her on a weekly allowance) so he didn’t mind. Now you see, fate has a way of exposing us to the truth just when we are either blind or weak to face it and on this very day, fate set in.
Ade always had this habit of hanging out with friends on Friday evenings (afterall, he was always bored considering the fact that Hilda was never around) but he never strayed too far, always restricted his fun to the confines of his neighbourhood, he told me he probably won’t forget that day for the rest of his life. That Friday evening, a course mate of his was throwing a birthday party in town, so they had to go all the way to town to have maximum fun. Usually he always kept Hilda informed of his movements but that day he had a flat battery and just couldn’t get across to her so he left without placing the “usual” phone call to her informing her of his where-about.
The party was at a cosy bar in an exquisite hotel and when they arrived, the party kicked off. They drank their souls out that night and just when Ade thought he was having so much fun the worst thing happened. Now I’m sure by now your probably scrolling down your phone or your lappy so fast wanting to see how the story ends not caring a bit for this young man but that’s the whole idea, that’s why I chose to write this in the first place to see if I’m the only one with the “hard heart”. You see when he shared this story with me I didn’t care much I just found it so intriguing, just couldn’t wait to see how it was going to unravel itself.
Now back to the story, in the midst of the whole fun Ade saw some cars drive into the hotel and what caught his attention was the “Cadillac”, he was quite passionate about that brand and always envisaged having one and just as he was about to take his gaze off the car he saw someone step out and to his utmost surprise it was Hilda! but you see this was not the Hilda he knew ,the Hilda he knew would never be caught dead in a skimpy skirt or wear heavy make-up, he was certain she was just a look-alike, especially when he saw the man she was with, he was just too old, fat and with a pot-belly(Hilda always had a dislike for pot-bellies) but I guess the alcohol he had been drinking all night increased his adrenaline level so he decided to go closer and when he got close enough there she was ! She was clearly the one and just then she noticed him, you could see the shock written in her eyes, they just stood there for half a second but to Ade it was like eternity,he simply couldn’t believe his eyes and for the first time in a long while he burst into tears, he knew he was a man and he shouldn’t cry but he just couldn’t control them, probably it was the alcohol, he wasn’t sure. According to him his friends had to drag him away from the scene that was the worst night of his life. The next morning she just moved her things away from his room silently without pleading for forgiveness or offering any explanation and that was the end of their 2 years old relationship. He wasn’t going to get the “fairy-tale” ending he had always dreamt of, his decent, cute and “considerate” lady was a whore !.
Now here is the bitter part, first of all I must say I’m no saint and I don’t write for your appraisal, I think love is very sacred and should be treated as such, you don’t play with peoples emotions just as you want, we all grew up reading tales from Shakespeare and I’m sure we all enjoyed the now “extinct” love exhibited in some of those stories and as for the whole “runs-girl ish” its now outrageous. In the 90’s it was called “sugar-daddy” and was less popular, even its name was as sacred as Lord Voldermot’s in “Harry Porter” but in today’s society it has become a normality, it has exceeded the era of whispers, its now something people brag about. “How rich is your daddy”, is now a popular phrase, you see it on Facebook posts, bbm Pms, display pictures e.t.c. It is something that enhances your reputation as a lady and earns you the name “big girl” on campus. Now I look at our present generation and notice that we have lost our priority. I am also a part of this generation and there’s this popular saying “that those who live in glass houses should not throw stones” but I’ve chosen to throw stones today hoping it breaks my own bit of glass, hoping it softens my conscience because the truth be told, we all are going to get married to ourselves(lolzzzz!!!). Nobody is going to profit from the generation before us, we are laying our beds so wrongly and we are going to lie in it someday. A word is enough for the wise they say, learn to cut your coat according to your size and be content with what you have. I would leave you today with a famous quote from John Quincy Adams “Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish”.
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