I’m beginning to doubt the validity of love,remember when I was quite young how much I relished to feel love for someone other than my father,mother or siblings,I always thought it was something exotic,something rare and a once in a life time experience.
I remember as a boy how I’d sit all cuddled up watching scenes from Titanic (with the absence of the obscene parts of course,can’t count how many times I saw that movie!) daydreaming and hoping I’d one day be ”jack“. Its surprising when I consider how young I was then and how much I already knew, although I couldn’t exactly explain the feelings being so young and naïve but I clearly wanted that experience. I remember one time when I had to be the ring bearer at a relatives wedding and had to hold the ”little-girl“ all the way up to the alter,vividly recollect how sweet her smile was! I think that was my first crush and I was just 6 at the time,I was really shy and didn’t say a word to her but the beauty of everything was that her smile was enough for the ”innocent“me.
Can’t count how many girls I crushed on growing up and each experience came with its own share of emotions,the same urge to want to get closer,get them to like me and these feelings made me do some really silly things…lol !
One time in primary school there was this girl(think her name was Ada)I liked her so much that I’d come so early to school just so I could keep a sit for her and that earned me the most punctual student at the end of the term,I have so many ”episodes“ that I can’t write down at this time but I did some silly things.
As the saying goes ”nothing lasts forever“ soon I started to grow and the innocence wore off,I tasted Adam’s apple!,there’s no age rating to this piece so I can’t go into the graphical illustrations of some ”scenes“ I acted! Looking back I think I grew way too fast,read too many novels and two books that perhaps changed my life were ”a stone for Danny fisher “(can’t remember who’s book that is) and Kane and Abel by Jeffery archer,these books opened my eyes and I finally realised why I felt that tinge down my body when I was close to a girl I liked,why my ”koboko“ always pointed towards the north pole when I saw something I probably shouldn’t have,my new-found knowledge perforated the scales of sexual ignorance that loomed around me and soon I became a master of the art and I must admit I earned some trophies for that.
Now time to get to business,this is no expository piece,I didn’t write this to make you laugh or take a peek at my archives,I wrote this so I could have a dialogue of some sort with whoever is reading this,so that we don’t only rub but ”grind“ minds together. Its been over a decade since I’ve had some questions buried deep down in my heart,questions that don’t grow answers by the passing of time but probably through shared ideas,so I could as well say you hold the answers to what I seek !.
I’m alarmed at how many times I’ve fallen in love,you meet a lady and you just know you want to ”solve the puzzle“ with her and then just like mist everything soon fades away and before you know it you meet another,I’m a guy yet I’ve had my own share of occurrences,its like a relay race because there’s always a baton to hand over to the ”latest lady“,when I say baton I mean stories,tales,fables,the chain keeps getting longer. You meet lady no.2 and you tell her how it didn’t work out with lady no.1, ”she was too demanding“ you say, I’ve noticed that the ladies seem to connect more when they learn the faults of the ex-girl and I know the ladies have more complications than the guys so they share in this dilemma.
I can’t count how many times I’ve fallen in love and it has got me wondering if love is just a mirage,many people are in love today because their partners meet up to their standards,if you doubt me look at your partner and then imagine the worst case scenario with him or her and then ask yourself if you’d stick with your spouse if those things came to reality. Imagine if your rich spouse suddenly went broke,if your smart partner suddenly went dumb,if your cute lady suddenly developed an unredeemable acne condition ,will you stick your neck out for him/her?will you hang on the line?,this are the things that puzzle me.
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